Before my son hit the tween years, he would always be curious about what I was creating on the sewing machine or otherwise. He was eager to help out, and I would always try to involve him in whatever way possible, because, being a mum, I wanted him to benefit from it.
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| Here he is sewing his own football shorts!! |
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| Helping out with his panda costume! |
I wonder how many crafty mums have had this type of conversation with their tweens:
Me: I'm going to start some sewing .... want to help?
Son: Nah....I'm too busy
Me: Are you sure? I'm going to be using the sewing machine; you LOVE that.
Son: Sorry, I don't feel like it. Actually, I don't like sewing anymore
I think I was rather dejected, or perhaps, "devastated" is the word more appropriate here. My son has always been keen with sewing projects - cutting, drafting, handsewing and even using the machine, but just that day (and thereafter) he decided that it wasn't for him.
A few weeks later, I had met up with my artist friend, I, for coffee. Our conversation went something like this (the jist of it anyway) ....... we were talking about our written contributions to a publication on Maker families, basically families who DIY and make together.
I: I sent it over
Me: Me too.....although it was rather difficult penning it down .... my son doesn't like to make anymore, or even want to make.
I: Exactly! Mine too! We did things when they were little, but now they are older they have other things that interest them.
[I'm feeling a moment of relief - another mum has the same sentiments!]
Me: He loves football now and that's his focus these days, nothing else. But that's okay... I think.
And yes, it is okay!
I'm sure we have all been there as a kid. I remember when I stopped sewing and knitting when I hit my tweens - I thought it was old-fashioned; but hey, look at me now!
I think he'll eventually find his own way, and when he does want to make something, it will be on his own terms and something that he likes. My friend said that maybe the something would be associated with his love of football..... another pair of football shorts?.... okay I have to stop over-thinking it.
Have you experienced this with your child?
How are you taking it?
- Why should there be this pressure for them to participate in making activities if they don't enjoy it?
- Why is there a constant need to impress others with it?
I'm sure we have all been there as a kid. I remember when I stopped sewing and knitting when I hit my tweens - I thought it was old-fashioned; but hey, look at me now!
I think he'll eventually find his own way, and when he does want to make something, it will be on his own terms and something that he likes. My friend said that maybe the something would be associated with his love of football..... another pair of football shorts?.... okay I have to stop over-thinking it.
Have you experienced this with your child?
How are you taking it?
I believe children goes through stages...for months, my son stopped crafting with his fuse beads and didn't want to draw so much. But out of the blue this morning, he suddenly told me he wanted to make something new with the fuse beads this afternoon. Even adults go through stages and 'moods' when it comes to crafting...eventually all of us will come to a point when we craft on our own terms, when and however we want to do it.
ReplyDeleteWe all go through stages and change our interests and hobbies. I gave up sewing for 20 years, but now sew just about every day. Your son may come back to craft and sewing, or perhaps he won't. You have, however, shown him what it's all about, and shared some special times. He won't forget that.
ReplyDeleteMay God bless you as you spend quality time with your son! inked up with you at Hope in Every Season -- hope you'll stop by Saved by Grace for a visit!
ReplyDeleteI'm not a "maker" by nature myself. But he will always have those skills you taught him initially - and - more importantly - the memories!
ReplyDeleteI think everyone goes through that stage but, its wonderful that you were able to teach him a craft/skill that he can do later on in life when he decides . Kim @ This Ole Mom
ReplyDeleteI think that is one of the hardest things in the tween/teen years as they decide they don't like the same things they did previously and it becomes a little less cool to hang out with mom. They start to find their own interests and then, maybe you get to learn a little more from them and that's a lot of fun!
ReplyDeleteI'm not crafty by any stretch, but I know that all the quality time you spent with your son sewing together will be something that he will remember and hopefully cherish.
ReplyDeleteI like this! I had arts and crafts shoved down my throat growing up and I totally despise them now and hate doing them with my kids. (I still do them some). I wish parents would just let kids be and pursue their own things. But if they like what they see you do that is always neat!
ReplyDeleteNicolette, I think you hit the right spot! I was facilitating a class once, and one of the kids was traumatised by the whole experience of tinkering he shouted out that he had not signed up for this (his parents had forced him to) and was not enjoying it at all. :-)
DeleteMy daughter is 25 now. When she was little she was very keen on doing sewing projects. When she hit her teens (12 -14) not so much anymore.
ReplyDeleteWhat I did was to buy loads of different art supplies. Oils, pastels, chalks, canvases, beads, pens, pencils, sketchbooks for art journals, paper mache stuff (easier than newspaper), etc. Slowly she started to dabble in all sorts of art forms and then she came back to sewing.
I think her biggest problem as an early teen was she didn't want to fail. We've all had sewing mistakes and at that time she wasn't having it. Giving her art that was pretty much failure proof I think gave her the confidence to come back to more difficult tasks.
Good luck!
I think it's hard for any parent to see their child outgrow a beloved stage (beloved to the parent, anyway!). My almost-5-year-old nephew has LOVED trains since he was pretty little but lately his love for trains is waning and his interest has turned towards monster trucks. My sister is having a hard time seeing the love for trains go. :)
ReplyDeleteI believe we have all experienced that with our children. It doesn't matter if they are boys or girls (mine are girls). One day he will probably be thankful he knows how to sew. He may want to put a new zipper in his favorite pair of pants or need to fix a hem. He will be thankful then.
ReplyDeleteI love that his is sewing!!! Thanks for sharing! Have a wonderful week...I invite you to please come share this and link up with me now at http://www.wrightsimply.com/2015/04/not-so-wordless-wednesday-linky.html
ReplyDeleteI know others would love this!! xx Ashleigh @SimplyWright
I totally agree with you, I'm dreading the day when they don't want to do the things that they like now. But I think you're attitude about it is spot on. :).
ReplyDeleteHe is growing up. It's the same story with my kids. It seems like I woke up and my son is too big to do anything with me unless it involves spending money on a new video game, shopping for shoes, or buying him something to eat. We have to realize our kids grow up and get a mind of their own.
ReplyDeleteI haven't experienced this yet with my kids, but this is great advice. Great post.
ReplyDeleteMy 10 year old son use to love making arts and crafts projects with me. Now he's more into Minecraft and talking to his friend. On occasion we'll make something together and I cherish the one on one time he gives me even more because he thinks he's too cool to hang with mom most days :-)
ReplyDeleteI know that there will come a day when this will happen, sand I am not sure I will be ready! It will be okay, just like you said! Love your words! Thank you so much for sharing this on Making Memories Mondays! :-) I am so glad that you came!
ReplyDeleteCathy@threekidsandafish{dot}com
I know exactly how this feels, for me it was when they stopped wanting to cook with me. They still like to lick the bowl out though when I make cakes, so that's something!
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